Foster Cats (Always said to the tune of Thunder Cats)


These fucking foster cats, man. They were my roommates idea, but I’ve come to be pretty engaged by the whole process. A few months ago we got our first pair of kittens from a woman named Tara, who presumably lived with about 34 other foster cats. I know this because the cat carrier that she used to get the kittens here was kind of sexy. That shows an insane dedication to being a legit cat lady. A sexy cat carrier is the real thing.

These cats aren’t ours to keep. We’re just taking care of them until they get adopted. That first pair of kittens was a boy and a girl, brother and sister. Their mother had met some horrible fate, or she was just a young cat who wasn’t ready to take care of a litter. Either way, being parentless and alone had taken it’s toll on these kitties. They were like soldiers returning home from Iraq. I would find one of them just rocking alone in the corner, humming to itself. They would never let you touch them, unless you were basically holding cat food in the palm of your hand, and one you did get ahold of one you would end up with scratches all over your hands and face. One of them pissed in my roomates bed because he was hungry, and probably scared that he wasn’t going to get get fed again. So he pissed somewhere weird. I get that. I get that a lot. Those cats were a mess, but they got adopted anyway. Which was  good thing because we had come to the end of our communal rope with them.

Our 2nd batch of kittens was completely different. They are loving, and adorable, and you can barely tell they came from a broken home. Barely. They are like the children of a royal family, beautiful but weird. I’ll get to the point: the boy cat is always sucking up on the girl cat’s titties. It’s like out in the open they are gorgeous and charismatic, behind closed doors one of them is breastfeeding well into their teens, and he breastfeeds from his sister. It’s like a scene ripped straight from Game of Thrones. But they’re cats? So I guess it’s fine? To me it still seems pretty dysfunctional, and just goes to show that the ones who appear the most pulled together are usually the most fucked up.


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