Stretch Yourself

ponI have a bit of a bone to pick with the advertising industry. I just feel like advertising these days is catering to the absolute lowest common denominator, and as a proud representative of the lowest common denominator, I’m frankly offended by what is being offered to me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I typically go out and buy anything put before me, I’m not a discriminating consumer. I get hoodwinked by more brand promises than most, but even I am a bit baffled by the tactics they’re using to sell products these days.

I really hate how the infrastructure surrounding periods is dealt with in advertising. You can really tell that’s it’s not a female dominated industry. I feel like they really struggle to brand tampons accurately. Did you guys know that Tampax has a line of sport tampons? Oh yes, I saw them at the drugstore, and I obviously bought them because I’m dying to know the difference between sport tampons and leisure tampons. The main difference between sport tampons and leisure tampons, is that sport tampons have an inspirational, sport-themed quote printed on the tampon wrapper. Like somebody thought that would be a great way to sell tampons. Print motivation speak on them. Right before you put your heroically insert your tampon, you confidently rip off the wrapper, but not before appreciating what was printed on it: “Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams”, or something like “Focus, Focus, Focus”, and the one that rang most true for me at the time “Stretch Yourself”. No matter how bad the first half want, as long as you have the sportpons in the locker room you’ll come out in the second half and leave it all on the field. All of it, except that is, for your period blood.

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